Part XIV - Circumcision

All around you is glaring while you are shaped into what you are meant to be. Know that this being you are becoming will chase you down simply, for you will not be able to hide from the label that has been appointed to your soul. You cry as you are held by those who have you in their illusions. Your perceptions are plentiful though you are not equipped with the intellectual coherence to understand all that is moulding you. Your name is cooed to you, whispered, and pledged but the name you are hearing hasn't yet been approved by all your senses. You will acknowledge it as a reference to you but do not get so attached to it that it begins to tell you what the world is all about. From naivety will come the ability to question and inquiry is what will save you from allowing your consciousness to forgo the beginning of its dissection.

Taste your mother's milk while you suckle at her breast, feel the purest substance you will ever know as it runs down your body to be formed into the exploding cells that expand your advance towards the horizons. Watch her lips falling on your brow as you feel the closeness of another. Know you are being humanized and welcomed into the flock of the flightless angels. Listen to the stories of who you are, and know you are the answer to their prayers and fantasies. Your eyes are hazy but they are perfect for the arrival of the interpretation of what you mean to all that surround you. Know that these are not wishes, but expectations of who you are and what degree of salvation you have given them. You are their messiah and you cannot even speak yet. You are their god, but you are being painted by their hands, not yours.

As you move in your crib, music plays and you are subjected to the beauties that humans embrace. All is artistic as it guides you at your desk in the play school of material awareness. Your hands can now grip and they tell you stories of softness, hardness and the flexible. You can move the world and you feel a strange sensation called physical power that somehow is in your domain. You are discovering certainty as the blanket you grip moves in the directions you choose. You are understanding that the realm you have been welcomed into is yours and since your crib is not shared with another, your are learning what ownership is. 'Mine' is the first concept that you are beginning to understand. My mother, my blanket, my crib. Mine, then slowly begins to form the idea of, me.

Yes, you are discovering there is a You, however, you term it as Me. Now you are associating the terms you are hearing as all references to that being, you. You have just been introduced to yourself. The name you hear is you, the loved one is you, the adorable one is you. The beautiful one, the ugly one, the black one, the white one, the anything but human one is you. You are different because you are you, and those ones over there are not us, so you are not them. You are us, you are you. You are not human, you are the chosen one. You are the answered prayer, the wish come true, the privileged. Yes, but you can also be the mistake, the afterthought, the youngest, the oldest, the this, the that. You have been torn out of the herd and branded by those that were torn and branded themselves.

Your eyes are beginning to witness, and your first sights calm you because you can see your writers and editors. They tell you that you are good or you are bad and you believe every bit of the information that they feed you as the truth and nothing but. There is mild contradiction, but it is so minute that your mind cannot separate it from the entirety of this new and wonderful experience. Your consciousness has been numbed and your body is the physician. It soothes you, it tranquilizes you as coherence is wrapped in the brightest images there are. You are a babe and as such all incoming information has been sterilized so its effect is gentle and hypnotic. Breathe little baby, don't you cry, mother is going to keep her demons away from you, while she lets her little girl hopes and her postpartum delusions hold you in their arms.